Book Rating: 7/10
I like the core message of the book. We often do better at things when we let go and stop caring what other people think. The author is hilarious and helps you learn about life, while making you laugh like crazy. The book is a bit repetitive at times, but he is just really driving the point home. Here are some notes I took:
• When you let go and stop caring about the outcome, you tend to do better at something
• Not giving a fuck doesn’t mean you’re indifferent and do nothing. It more means you stop giving the fuck about the outcome and are willing to be you. You stop caring about being judged or whatever. You just do whatever you want.
• What are your values and why? These days everyone is always doing better than us on social media.
• Humans think we’re special. We’re not. If everyone was exceptional, then no one would be. Thinking you’re awesome and everyone sucks is being a narcissist. But thinking you suck and everyone else is awesome is also being a narcissist. You get your value by everyone throwing you a pity party
• You are 100% responsible for everything. Even if your girlfriend breaks up with you, there is something you did to cause that breakup. Take responsibility for everything in your life (even the terrible things).
• We must give a fuck about something. You can’t give no fucks about everything, that’s not a life worth living. But the secret to life is figuring out what to give a fuck about
• Like poker, there is a little bit of luck to life. But it doesn’t matter. You gotta play the best with the hand you were dealt with in life. You can’t blame your genetics or childhood or whatever else, everything is in your power
• Our memory is like the telephone game. We have a way of rewriting memories based on how we remember things. For example, if you hate your ex, your brain is likely to rewrite all your past memories to paint them in a negative light. This is especially dangerous when therapists keep on having you dig up old wounds and stuff like that. Sometimes our brains can make up fake memories if we keep on digging up the same old garbage day after day
• Uncertainty is the root of all progress. The more we admit we don’t know, the more room there is to grow
• We seek/avoid circumstances that conform to our identity. For example, if you believe you are a bad cook. You will likely avoid cooking. So you have to often change and examine your belief systems to change your life
• Action causes motivation
• Here is a key to a healthy relationship. 1) Do both of you accept responsibility? 2) The willingness of both of you to reject and be rejected by the other person. If you’re not willing to be or face rejection, then one of the couple’s value systems will overpower the other’s. You want to have arguments because it means you’re compromising and respecting both of your boundaries
• People with strong boundaries aren’t afraid of confrontation or upsetting others. They can still be kind and courageous, but they stand up for their standards.
• Victim and savior is a deadly toxic combo for a relationship
• One of the best things you partner should do for you is call you out on your bull shit
• Without conflict, there could be no trust
• In a relationship, if trust is destroyed, it can only be re-built if two things happen: 1) The trust breaker admits the true values that caused the breach of trust. 2) The trust breaker builds a solid track record
• Commitement brings freedom. We are often tempted to get a breadth of experience. But having a depth of experience is better. There are certain experiences you can only have when you are committed to certain people, ideas or skills for a long time.